10 Feet Tall and Bulletproof ... He Ain't

Have you talked to your kitties about the dangers of 'nip?

Little Grey Kitty decided that since his humans were too busy to attend to his recreational herbage needs this morning, he was going to help himself to the catnip bag. Which would have been fine, except that someone (me) had left the bag on top of a rather unstable CD rack. Down came the bag, along with the rack and about 100 or so CDs. That particular noise got me back up the stairs in a hurry!

Since I was the one who had put the rack there in the first place, and had then made matters worse by leaving the catnip on top of it, it was pretty hard to blame LGK. Especially when he was having a lovely time rolling in the spilled nip and leaping about over his fallen prey. So I decided to leave things as they were while I finished up what I was doing, and headed back downstairs.

You know how people can be classified as a certain kind of drunk? Happy, mean, affectionate, etc.? Well, the same thing applies to nipped-up kitties. And Mr. LGK is a fearless drunk. He can go anywhere and do anything. He can waltz right in to the bedroom where Big Acoustic Kitty lives like he owns the place, he can give all the neighborhood critters a verbal what for, and he can chase Electric Mayhem off from his territory. (Now, this happens with EM at the bottom of the stairs on one side of the screen door and LGK at the top of the stairs on the other, but hey, he knows he's showing her who's boss.)

Cut to about 20-30 minutes later. I'm downstairs in the kitchen and The Amazing Husbandini come in to rustle up some cold medicine. (We're trading a nasty spring cold back and forth between us.) He goes back upstairs, opens the screen door and suddenly I hear, "Escape! Escape! We have an escape!" Mr. LGK had decided that he was not going to be cooped up anymore and was going to invade the downstairs. Mr. Full-of-Himself did real well ... until he hit the other side of the screen door and realized he was actually out.

See ... out means that Big Yellow Hallway Monster (all 20+ pounds of him) comes running over to say hi. And it means that Electric Mayhem realizes that LGK is now in her territory, and gets hissy and growly as only she can. And her hissy fits do not involve backing down from a face-to-face confrontation. And it also means that to escape these things, LGK would have to turn his back on the other cats and try to run back upstairs to safety. And the door is now open! They might follow him into his sanctum sanctorum! Uh-oh. Suddenly the 'nip haze cleared, and panic set in.

As an aside, should I be concerned that my very first instinct was to whip off my shirt? After our last escape, I wanted to make sure that I had some way to cover and wrap a cat should things get hostile, and my sweatshirt seemed to be good for that. So, I'm running through the house in jeans and a bra, trying to chase down the low-slung, puffy grey blur who is careening through the downstairs in a panic and keeping an eye out that EM and BYHM don't get into it as a side benefit.

To sum up, LGK made it back up the stairs to safety while EM and BYHM were bribed with many kitty treats to forget the whole incident ever happened. After much cuddling and tummy-rubbing, LGK calmed down enough to crash in a sunbeam, where he is currently sleeping off his 'nip binge.

Please, talk to your cats about catnip. A 'nip high is not worth having to take an ass-kicking from your sister.