Dammit, Cat!

I'll skip the backstory and cut right to the chase:

This afternoon, The Amazing Husbandini and I found ourselves hurtling down the interstate to the vet's office, with Big Acoustic Kitty drifting in and out of consciousness in the carrier in the back.

Not many minutes earlier, we'd heard odd noises coming from the bedroom and found BAK stretched out on the floor next to his food dish in a limp, drooly, twitchy pile. After a few minutes, he did manage to rouse himself, but then his back end just refused to respond when he tried to stand up. And it was painfully obvious to us that he just wasn't "there". We managed to get through to our vet and they told us to bring him over right away.

We got to the vet and they took him right in to the exam area and did a quick check on his blood sugar ... turned out it was 130, which is a totally fine result, considering his diabetes. So, his current difficulty was not caused by an insulin reaction. Good news there, but what did it mean? We were thinking maybe heart trouble, maybe stroke ... but something horrible, obviously.

The vet and a tech came back in to the room where we were waiting and put BAK down on the floor where he proceeded to stagger around ... his movements were better than they had been, but still very much nothing like normal. The vet then starts telling us that maybe the quarter-tablets of BAK's new medication might be a bit much, and it looks like an eighth-tablet might be better.

Brief backstory - this was our second trip to the vet with BAK in two days. Yesterday was a fairly routine checkup to see how he was doing and to see if there was anything more that could be done for his arthritis. They sent us home with some glucosamine/chondroitin treats and a narcotic that would supposedly help with his joint pain. It might be "mildly sedating" for the first few days, they warned us.

I looked at Amazing Husbandini and he looked at me. Then we looked at the vet as what she was telling us sank in:

Big Acoustic Kitty wasn't sick - he was stoned!

After some sub-cutaneous fluids to help wash the happy pill out of his system, and several jokes about him having a serious case of the munchies later, we packed him up and took him home, where he spent most of the rest of the afternoon zoning peacefully with his face smooshed up against the inside corner of his carrier. As of a few minutes ago, he was happily noshing on his evening fishy pudding and wandering around the bedroom as if nothing had happened.

We're hoping this hasn't ruined him for a good, old-fashioned catnip buzz.

From Noses to Needles

We've been having some problems the past couple of days.

"Snoorrrff?"

Big Acoustic Kitty has been taking his meals in his suite recently, after being startled a few too many times by Big Yellow Hallway Monster in the main floor dining area. When I took BAK's dinner up to him on Saturday, his nose was noticeably red. The light in the bedroom is fairly dim, so I leaned in to get a better look (as best I could, considering his enthusiastic slurping of his food) and saw that he had blood all over his nose.

*Insert kitty-mama conniption here.*

The Amazing Husbandini came running (as he does, when he hears me shriek) and managed to get a good look at BAK's nose and at the surrounding surfaces. While there was certainly some blood spatter, it wasn't in quantities too alarming (no CSI-type scenes) and the flow coming out of his nostril was quite faint and fairly dilute.

Returning to the computer and working his Google-fu, hubby-o-mine determined that - barring some horrible nose tumor suddenly come to life - it was probably a result of BAK smacking nose-first into something or a result of Colorado's notoriously dry winter air. So we set up one of our little humidifiers overnight, hoping that would help.

The next morning there were some more lovely blood spatters on the blankets (and the wall above my pillow - ew!) but since it was Sunday, our only options were to continue the watch & wait program, or haul him in to the emergency vet. We decided to wait some more, but we did call our vet and leave a voice mail on the off chance that somebody might check messages. By yesterday afternoon, the blood seemed to have disappeared and things were looking good.

This morning, the bloody sneezes were back, but there was much less blood and everything else seemed to be fine ... eating, drinking, peeing, pooping - all normal. The vet's office called back and we ventured out into the 8-degree snowy day to see them.

Our regular vet had the day off (for once!), so we saw the visiting vet instead. She checked BAK all over and then she and I chatted about possible causes and treatments - long story short, we decided to continue the wait & see, but she suspects some kind of bacterial infection. If it gets better on its own, great, but if not I can go back in and pick up some antibiotics. With BAK's age and health issues, as well as the meds he's already on, she suspects that a kitty bug that we had going around the house recently finally caught up to BAK and his somewhat compromised immune system is having trouble with it.

Anyway ... that's not really the point of the story.

In discussing some of BAK's current meds and how they are doing double-duty as arthritis medicine and pancreatitis treatment, the vet asked if we'd ever considered acupuncture or chiropractic for BAK. I refrained from laughing at her but did suggest that, considering how many people it usually takes to restrain BAK for any procedure (3, minimum), I wasn't sure how well he'd like that kind of thing.

She then showed me how his neck didn't really move the way it was supposed to - mostly up and down, with very little of that serpentine movement that most cats make. Then she asked if I would let her try to "loosen up" his neck a little bit. I decided if she wanted to risk her flesh, that was her business, so I told her to go right ahead. BAK was not happy about it, but he didn't kill her, and lo and behold - after a couple of minutes, his head was sliding around just the way it should. And he still hadn't killed her. (He did hiss and spit and growl and cuss, as usual, but no blood was drawn.)

Now, I have nothing against non-traditional medicine, I just don't have much experience with it. But, since we weren't going to be heading home with any expensive meds, and since the little free sample she'd given certainly hadn't seemed to hurt or upset BAK (any more than he was already upset about being at the vet) I decided to just go ahead and let her do her thing.

She had me scruff BAK so she had both hands free and proceeded to work her way down his spine ... and the funniest thing happened. The further she got down his back, the more his yelling went down the hostility scale:

Neck area: "Release me or I shall slay you!"

Upper back: "You're touching me! I don't like people touching me!"

Mid-back: "I don't know what's going on, but I don't hate it!"

Hips: "I'm not sure why I'm still complaining, but it's kind of a habit for me!"

Then, she whips out her box of accupuncture needles and proceeds to march them up his spine, between his ears and into his face! He looked for all the world like he was wearing a dozen or so red birthday candles. Then, she turned out the light and went out, leaving BAK and I resting in the exam room for about 10 minutes ... and while he did get tired of hanging out up on the exam table, he was calm and quiet and relaxed for the rest of the visit.

(As she walked into the back of the vet's office, I heard one of the techs - who knows BAK very well - say, "He let you do it?")

I'm not saying that he's going to be going back for twice-weekly visits (out of our budget, unfortunately), but if helps his arthritis and helps wean him off some of his meds, I will certainly spring for once or twice a month. (Maybe I should ask her if she needs any landscape design work or computer repair work done and we can work out a trade.)

I'm sorry I don't have photos to share of BAK playing pincushion. But I didn't want to risk using my noisy cellphone camera and disturbing him during his moment of zen.

We'll keep everyone posted!

Addendum: Vet visit was mid-day Monday, and the nose was good until late afternoon today (Tuesday) when we had another bleeding episode. But, since I let the humidifier dry up, that could have been my fault. Other than that, things continue pretty well.

Poor Little Monster

Big Yellow Hallway Monster went off to the vet this morning with all 20 teeth. He came home with only 13.

Other than some residual loopy-ness from the anesthesia and the pain meds, he's doing pretty well - but he has taken up residence in a dark corner of the basement, under the watchful eye of (surprisingly) Miss Electric Mayhem. More details to come.

Yet Another Vet Visit.

The Big Yellow Hallway Monster and I just got home from the vet. Crystals in our urine ... we haz them. (Well, HE has them. As far as we know, I'm fine.) So now BYHM has a new stash of canned food that's just for him, and he's going to get to eat fishy pudding twice a day instead of just once. Gotta thin out all that nastiness in our little urinary tract, dontcha know. We also have a new tube of calming ear goo ... everybody's getting a schmear. (Well, not the Big Acoustic Kitty, because it's not good for diabetics. But everybody else can have some.)

And BYHM has broken a new weight record for our fur-babies ... 18 lbs! That's a full pound heavier than Ziggy was at his peak! (Ziggy still holds the record as the tallest and longest cat we've ever had, though.) So the canned food is a bit of a balancing act ... we need the extra moisture, but we need to make sure we're not overdoing the calories.

In other cat news, Electric Mayhem and Big Acoustic Kitty are doing fine. (knock wood) As a matter of fact BAK's diabetes seems to be in remission right now, so he's trucking along without his insulin shots. The Little Grey Kitteh continues to enjoy his outings from the guest room, as well as his one-on-one time with me in the evenings. With BYHM at the vet, LGK got to spend an extended time out of the guest room this morning ... a little too extended, it turns out. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have, and he and BAK had a little bit of a run-in with some minor aggression and tail-puffing. (I think LGK came around the end of the bed and discovered BAK helping himself to LGK's kibble.) Since every other time they've been around each other, things have been pretty good, I'm chalking it up to too much stimulation and not enough supervision. Bad Kitty Mama!

So, that's that. We did get our act together over the weekend and weed out some unnecessary items and put them up on Craigslist in an attempt to undo some of the damage caused by the recent (and still-to-come) vet bills. No nibbles yet, but we're keeping our fingers crossed.

In other news, fall semester started today and I have to go back to work tomorrow. But let's face it ... nobody comes here to read about that stuff. :-)

News. Pull Up A Chair.

Where did the summer go? School starts up again Monday, and I'm not terribly pleased about it. I seem to recall something about getting a little bit of a vacation this summer ... ha! Here it is the middle of August, and I haven't even managed to get to a single baseball game yet. (And since it's painfully obvious that the Rockies aren't heading anywhere near the playoffs this year, time's a'wasting!)

All my grand and glorious plans for my garden fizzled out, too. Funny how working 40 - 50 hours a week at a nursery can make one not terribly interested in spending free time outside working on planting things. I did manage to get a little salsa garden planted, but it looks like the onions are going to be the only real survivors. The tomatoes and peppers both got wiped out by hail, and while the plants themselves are hanging on, they aren't really producing anything. The strawberries I planted were turned into a litterbox for some neighborhood cats. I did get a few other things planted ... one peach tree, three lavenders and three catmints. The peach tree and the lavender were "rescues" from work and the catmint was rescued from a Master Gardener project. Pretty much everything that I actually spent money on is still sitting in its nursery pot on the patio. Pathetic.

And then of course there are the cats. Are you seated comfortably for this next bit? You might want to go get a beverage.

Life on the feline front has been increasingly chaotic around here. For a while, problems seemed to be coming at us from out of nowhere, but reflection has shown that things have been building for quite some time. I'll spare you the long, drawn-out story, but basically it boils down to an increasing unhappiness about the amount of time the humans are spending at home, plus some territorial aggression issues, along with some "social maturity" issues, and one big urinary tract infection to top it all off. Since I started back to work in late March, the relationship between the Little Grey Kitteh and the Big Yellow Hallway Monster has started to show some strain. Throw open the windows and doors in the spring and summer weather and provide the chance for BYHM to come face-to-face (through window glass and screens) with various neighborhood cats and suddenly we're dealing with a cat who not only has some weird sort of abandonment issue, but is now also feeling insecure about all these "new" cats. Redirected aggression and "marking" (yep ... kitty pee on the walls) ensue. Stress levels continue upward. The Electric Mayhem moves from being viewed as something of a plaything to something of a target. She gets cut off from litterbox access and now we have sneak-pees behind the furniture. New litterbox on the main level helps a little, but not enough. Humans make big mistake and move new litterbox into the basement. LGK does not approve of the change - more pee stains on the carpet. Humans blow outrageous sum of money on Nature's Miracle and Feliway. Massive, hardcore three-cat fight triggered by visit from random tabby outside the kitchen door. LGK attacks everybody and will not stop. LGK is relocated to the guest room with his own food, water and litter for a while to calm down. (LGK likes this arrangement so much that he's still not really inclined to come back out.) Situation is discussed, books are consulted, decision is made to re-introduce LGK as if he were a new cat. Vet visit reveals that LGK has a urinary tract infection - LGK is sent home with a week's work of antibiotics, "calming treats" and a syringe full of transdermal goo that is supposed to calm him down. (Humans think that for what they paid the vet, the goo should go in their ears!) Reintroduction process begins, starting with Big Acoustic Kitty ... and nobody seems unduly stressed about anything. Hmm. Observation of the two remaining downstairs kittehs reveals that while the carpet-piddling has ceased, spraying and redirected aggression remain ... turns out that BYHM seems to be the root cause of the problem and that LGK had apparently just reached his limit the day he blew up at everybody. Humans consider what will be involved in getting BYHM to the vet and then separating and reintroducing him to everyone, have a matching set of nervous breakdowns, sell the cats to a wandering band of gypsies, run away from home and join the first cat-free ashram they find.

Not really on that last part, but we're not ruling it out quite yet. Seriously, I have no idea what we're going to do with him. He's a huge love, but the idea of quarantining him for however long and then going through the whole reintroduction process with him and all three of the other cats and retraining him to try and defuse his whole redirected aggression issue is just about more than I can get my head around. And how exactly are we supposed to "eliminate the causes of the aggression"? We've already made the sunroom off-limits after a rather impressive fight a few months ago. We now have freezer paper taped to the sliding glass door in the kitchen so he can't see out. We live in a colonial-style house where all the 1st-floor windows are less than a foot off the floor ... are we supposed to soap them all up for the next 10+ years of his life? The book that is our go-to for cat issues is less than helpful on this. "Discourage" cats from coming around by removing bird feeders and possibly keep a water pistol handy to scare them off. Right.

So. One step at a time, I guess. All I can say is that the vet better send us home with a whole vat of that transdermal goo this time.

If you're wondering about the mama cat and her kittens in the backyard, well, nothing much has happened. The house across the backyard from us is finally occupied again after sitting empty for most of the past year. The new folks have a dog, and I think that has caused the kitties to relocate their home base. We don't see them as often, and we haven't seen all four of them together since right after the last time I posted about them. The kibble I was putting out kept disappearing, but they always seemed to come by in the middle of the night. So ... we haven't completely ruled out doing a TNR on the little family, but I don't know if it will actually be possible now. I feel guilty for not doing more, but I keep telling myself that the energy we have for dealing with cat problems needs to be focused on the four we have indoors with us. Hopefully St. Francis or some other cat-friendly being will take care of mama and her brood.

So that's our life ... how have you been?

16.5 & 9.9

16.5 is what showed up on the bathroom scale the other morning when the Big Yellow Hallway Monster* stepped on it. The late and still-lamented Ziggy topped out at 17. Considering the way he eats, I think BYHM may break that record.

9.9 is what Big Acoustic Kitty weighed in at during yesterday's vet visit. That's quite a bit down from the 14-ish pounds that he weighed during his prime. But considering the fight he put up before we finally got him into his carrier, he's still chugging along reasonably well for an old man.

* This is the cat formerly referred to as Thing 1. His nocturnal lurkings in the upstairs hallway got him his new nickname, courtesy of Grandpa.

The Lord & Master Has Returned!

Big Acoustic Kitty is home and very happy about it, thankyouverymuch. It's a long story and we've got a busy day ahead of us (including a trip to our regular vet for yet more blood work) but the gist of it is that they're pretty sure his diabetes has gone into remission and this pancreatitis is on the way out, and it was all his medicine that caused the problem.

(And I've discovered that "mother guilt" can attack kitty-mamas as well as human ones, since I feel awful about being the one who gave him the medicine that morning that set him off.)

So ... more later, after things settle down. But for right now, BAK is home and resting and enjoying lots of skritches and cuddles. And stern instructions to never scare me like that again!

Many, many thanks to everyone who send prayers and good thoughts our way. They were much appreciated, and obviously worked very well!!!

Bracing Ourselves

It's a long story, and one I'm not really up to going into right now. Suffice it to say that Big Acoustic Kitty is in the hospital overnight for dangerously low blood sugar, and we have a feeling that we may be looking at the end of our time with him.


Prayers and/or good wishes for him would be appreciated, but please just help us ask for whatever is best for him. He's somewhere between 14 and 16-ish (it's usually a guessing game with shelter kitties) and he's had a terrific life for the 11+ years we've had him in our family. We don't want to let him go (does any animal-lover ever want that?), but we really don't want him to be scared or uncomfortable. Our prayers are that he just not suffer. If that means getting better and coming home, wonderful. If that means that he doesn't come home, or doesn't come home for very long, so be it.

Every time I drive past the emergency vet where we took Ziggy (not the same vet that BAK is tonight) I ask that everyone in there that day have nothing but "good news and happy endings". I have no way of knowing for sure, but I feel like somebody somewhere hears that prayer and does something about it. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I have that same feeling about my current prayers for Mr. Boo. I feel like somebody's listening, and will make sure that the best happens for him. Even if the "best" happens to break our hearts.

Peace be to all the kitties out there, as well as their people. (And the doggies, birds, bunnies, hamsters ... you get the idea.) Give your fur babies a hug for us, and let them know you love them a lot.

The Verdict Is In

For those of you waiting to hear the news about The Big Acoustic Kitty, I apologize. Computer problems and an over-busy schedule have kept me from posting for the past few days. Turns out that the diagnosis on BAK is diabetes with a side order of pancreatitis. His kidney function is normal, as is his liver, thyroid and a bunch of other bits that escape me at the moment. So, The Amazing Husbandini, BAK and I are heading to the vet's again this Thursday for our "education appointment" at which I'm sure we will completely piss off BAK with our ham-handed attempts at administering insulin injections. But, we'll do our best.

Update on Big Acoustic Kitty

Here's a picture of his handsome self - just because:


Well, we decided to do a little "wait and see" on the outside-the-box piddling issues, just in case it was stress-induced. Once "the horde" was kept downstairs and he had some time to relax, that problem seemed to resolve itself. So that was good news. However, we had been noticing an increase in his water consumption and subsequent "output", so we decided to give the vet a call and see what she had to say. Predictably, she wanted him to come in for some bloodwork. So that is what most of today was taken up with.

We went ahead and okay'd the full blood panel, along with testing for thyroid problems and pancreatitis. The blood panel should be back tomorrow, with the rest of the results coming back early next week. He's down a couple of pounds since his last visit in October, and he was slightly dehydrated, so they know something's going on, but nobody's quite sure what it is yet. BAK had to stay at the vet's for most of the morning, since his usual inside-the-carrier "accident" had left his bladder empty and unable to provide a urine sample. So I took the Amazing Husbandini to work and then hit the library and did some time-killing running around for a few hours before the vet's office called and said BAK was ready to go home. They gave him some sub-cutaneous fluids while he was there, so hopefully that will be some help to him.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that there's obviously something wrong, but we don't know yet what it is or how serious it might be. We're keeping our fingers crossed and praying that it's something treatable. He was out of his carrier at the vet this morning and busily investigating the exam room, so we know he's not down for the count. We have both agreed that as long as our little curious bug is still in evidence, it's worth doing what we can to keep him going. Once that interest in life starts to go away, then we'll deal with that aspect of things.

We both hope that things will settle down and that BAK will be able to have at least one more happy and comfortable Christmas with us. We adopted him around Christmas, and if his time is coming to an end, we'd rather be able to associate Christmas with his coming into our lives, not with him leaving us.

So that's where we are now. More updates as events warrant.

Additional Sogginess

Well, it's now about 5 1/2 hours since my last post, and we've had another "incident". Unfortunately, this time there's no doubt that the culprit is the Big Acoustic Kitty. I got up and discovered that the bathroom mat was all rumpled, and when I went to put it back, it was all wet on one end.

I realize that it's about 4:30 in the morning and I'm tired and I'm stressed and I don't feel very good on top of it all, and these all combine to make this the worst time to consider this situation. However, I am up and I am considering it and I'm not happy. BAK just celebrated his Adoption Day on Friday (11 years since we brought his grumpy self home, yea!) which means he's somewhere in the range of 14 - 16 years old. As I wrote about a few months ago, before all the horrible stuff with Ziggy came along, it's been obvious for a while now that he's moving toward the end of his life. Some days he does really well and I can think that he still has a good piece of time left. Other days, well ... today is not going to be one of those days, apparently.

Obviously the next move is to keep a close eye on him and to call the vet on Monday to bring him in. He's on Metacam for his arthritis** and I know that stuff has a problematic track record when it comes to kidney function, so I'm sure that will be the first thing to investigate. Also, we have a somewhat high-sided litter box that might be giving our little old man some access problems. As I said in the last post, the other kitties - including the Electric Mayhem - have been upstairs more than usual lately, and he might just be upset about that. Too many kitties making free with his box, and all that. A similar situation brought on a bladder infection in the poor guy several years ago, so it might be something as simple as that. There are many avenues to go down before a full-on panic is called for. However, at 4:30 in the morning, full-on panic likes to crowd its way to the front of the line.

If you've ever been here before, you know that the Amazing Husbandini and I are not the type to call "deal-breaker" over this. BAK is our little old man kitty, and he deserves (and will get) a full investigation into this new problem of his, and all necessary steps will be taken to fix things. However, at 4:30 in the morning, thoughts about what on earth we're going to do if it turns out to be unfixable do arise.

Hugs and good thoughts are requested, and I'll keep everyone posted.

**I don't expect this post to suddenly bring throngs of people to the site, but let me try and fend off any potential problems by saying this: Yes, I am aware of the horror stories about cats and Metacam. I have read all the information and I have talked to our vet and precautions have been taken since Day 1. So, unless you have something constructive to share on the subject, please don't send me any messages about how I've signed my cat's death warrant by giving him this medicine. I really don't need that right now.

Sound the All-Clear!

For those of you who haven't heard, The Electric Mayhem went in to the vet yesterday for her second FIV/FeLV test, and she came up negative once again. So both kitties are in the clear on that front.

As an interesting side note, (well, it was interesting to me, anyway) each of the cats has a distinct preference in radio selections for their trips to the vet. The Big Acoustic Kitty prefers to listen to either the classical or the jazz station in the car. Lately he's been leaning more towards jazz. The Electric Mayhem really prefers to listen to the complaints of another cat in the car with her. (She feeds on their distress - it calms her right down.) However, yesterday it was just the two of us in the car, and after trying classical (an opera selection - I didn't think she needed the encouragement) and jazz and a few of the commercial stations with no success, she settled down as soon as I put the baseball game on. I don't know if it sounded familiar to her from all of her multiple-inning cuddle sessions with the Amazing Husbandini, or if she's just really been following the playoffs this year or what, but that's what did it for her yesterday. Guess we'll have to get her a Colorado Rockies collar now.

Anyway, now that she's gotten her clean bill of health, she's begun agitating for minions. Is this not the face of a cat who needs some?

(Not the greatest quality photo in the world, but it does capture her personality.)

Big Acoustic Kitty, Reporting Again

I don't know where to begin. There's no way to break this to anyone gently, so I'm just going to come right out with it. Are you sitting down? Not only did I have to go to the vet yesterday, but ... they shaved me. Down there.

I tried to tell them that I'd already been "fixed" (and what a stupid euphemism that is ... nothing was "broken" to begin with) but they wouldn't listen. They just stuck me in that stupid blue cocoon bag and did it. Not so much as a "by your leave" or anything. Don't they know winter's coming?

Anyway, back to the shaving incident. Oh, and before Mama can report on me, let me just say that yes, I did use the carrier as a litter box. I understand the importance of routine health care and monitoring, but I can't just let them shut me in a little box, put me in the car and drive me somewhere without some kind of formal protest.

In the car, Mama told me that not only was I due for a manicure, but that it was also time for some more bloodwork. Great. Didn't they tap enough out of me last time? It's not that I don't understand the reasons for the testing ... my arthritis medicine sometimes causes kidney problems in cats, and the vet wants to keep a close eye on how I'm doing, and Mama and Papa are worried that I might have contracted the disease that Ziggy had. I get it. But I am a very smart, super-aware kitty. You'd think they might save themselves all of this trouble by just asking me how I'm doing, but oh, no.

As a protest for this last-minute update on what was going on, I refused to get out of my carrier at the vet. Normally I like to get out and stretch my legs, but not this time. I just sat on my wet, stinky towel and sulked.

Now, you might have noticed that nowhere in that conversation with Mama in the car was there any mention of my butt. Not once did she ever indicate that there were any plans to separate me from the fur over my gentleman's bits. Or rather, where my gentleman's bits were previously located.

They took me into the back room at the vet and transferred me into that blue bag they use to do my manicure. They took my blood (which I didn't appreciate) and then did my nails. I snarled and hissed at them, but they dismissed my complaints. Fine, I thought, let's just get this over with so I can go home. But then, THEN ... they opened up the back of the bag. Before I knew it, my tail was being held up in the air, and I heard the buzz of the clippers. I yelled, I kicked ... but it was too late. The next thing I knew, my butt had been buzzed. The insides of my thighs looked like peach fuzz, and my, well, you know ... residual bits ... were almost bald.

They did replace my wet towel with a dry papery pad thing, so at least it was dry on the way home. But I was so embarrassed. They told Mama that they shaved me because I wasn't getting my rear end very clean. I don't buy that excuse for a second. I know that my arthritis is hampering some of my activities, but if anyone had bothered to ask, I might have told them that Mama will sneak up on me with a warm washcloth every so often and scrub me down - down there - when I've had a little problem with the litter box. But again ... nobody consults with me.

When we got home, Mama let me out of the carrier in the kitchen, and stayed close by so I could explore if I wanted to. I hopped up onto the couch and we sat together for a while until I regained my composure. Evil didn't get to see anything, but she kept patrolling back and forth in front of the couch ... she could sense that something was going on. But I waited until she went into the basement to use her little box before I got down and went upstairs. I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of seeing what they did to me.

Although ... I did hear Mama tell Papa that Evil's appointment for her second FIV test is next week. Maybe they'll decide that her butt's a little too fuzzy, too ...

So there's my story. I hope it wasn't too shocking for the more impressionable members of my audience. If anyone needs me, I'll be sitting somewhere with my tail artfully arranged around my backside.

Respectfully Submitted,

The Big Acoustic Kitty

p.s. In case you are wondering, the vet called today with my test results - kidney functions are perfect, and I am FeLV/FIV negative once again.