February 11, 2006

I thought Fellini was dead.

Did you watch the opening ceremonies last night? I have only one question: What were they drinking when they dreamed up that weirdness, and where can I get some? The people dressed up as trees doing their bizarre Seuss-ian tribute to Fangorn Forest, the speed skating flaming helmet whackos, the whole "Holstein Homage" set with the black-and-white bedecked couples waltzing amongst the big fiberglass cows being towed around on furniture dollies...the whole thing was just weird.

I must admit, though...the dresses that the women who led out each country's delegation were wearing...the white ball gowns with the alps and the skiiers on the skirts? I want one. Not so much to wear, mind you, but just to examine in closer detail. NBC - typical of most American news networks - spent too much time focusing on the big picture rather than the interesting details. (“We're NBC, and we're very cosmopolitan, and we just take all this in stride because we’’ve seen it all. We won’’t risk looking like hicks by taking a closer look at anything that might be a little out of the ordinary. Unless of course we’re talking about the American athletes, in which case we’’re going to go into so much detail about them – provided they’’re medal contenders – that you’’ll be ready to shoot out your television long before we’’re finished!”)

Tonight, I think that – much as I’’d like to watch figure skating – we’’ll be watching Wallace and Gromit instead.